A huge portion of the world utilizes public transport as their primary mode of transportation. After spending a few months doing just that, I have decided that there are 10 People you will see everyday, without fail, when utilizing public transport. Let me know if you’ve seen them, too.
Here we go:
1. The Prideful Regular
He knows the system inside and out – and he wants you to know he knows. He makes sure he pushes the stop button before the mechanism can even announce the next stop. See, everyone, I have the route memorized and I know my stop is next. He exits the vehicle with speed, confidence and a bit of flair. He makes sure not to even glance in the direction of the signs and rolls his eyes at those who do.
2. The Calculating Regular
He goes beyond knowing which subway line he needs and knows which seat (or standing place) near which door on which car of the subway in which to ride in order to exit said subway car the absolutely closest possible to his next destination – either the gangway to his connection or the exit above ground. If the car of his choosing is too full, he is not above waiting for the next train to come along.
This guy checks the stop map after every stop. He counts, and re-counts, how many stops he has until he disembarks. He finger traces the map at least once for good measure. If there is more than one map posted in the train, he will study them all to make sure they are the same. Despite the appearance, he is most likely a regular user of the public transport system.
4. The Just-In-Timer
“Mind the gap.” “Steigen Sie nicht mehr ein.” “Please do not board.” The warning beep sounds and the doors begin to close. Cue this guy. He runs with the speed of a cheetah and just makes it through the doors milliseconds before they close – very often causing collateral damage (toppled children, spilled coffee, etc) in the process. There are two types of Just-In-Timers. The first, is the Melodramatic Just-In-Timer. He makes overly dramatic gestures of relief – releasing a big sigh, wiping fake-sweat from his brow, grabbing his knees and puffing – and chuckles happily at anyone who makes eye contact. It would seem he is pleasantly surprised at his success, but the precision with which he timed his sprint from the escalator ten yards away gives you the feeling most of his public transport entrances go similarly to this one. Perhaps he has a bit of the Calculating Regular in him. The second type is the Non-Chalant Just-In-Timer. He acts as though he wasn’t just nearly decapitated by thirty pound doors slamming shut and takes his place stoically in the crowd of passengers.
5. The Just-Misseder
Although closely related to number 4, our friend here is of the slightly less lucky variety. He gives it the good ole college try but arrives only in time to have the doors quite literally slam in his face. Here you see three types of folks. You have the Laid-Back Just-Misseder. This fellow laughs it off, shakes his head and perhaps even gives a plucky shoulder shrug to the onlookers who did make it into the train as they pull away. Then you have the Angry Just-Misseder. He slaps the closed doors, yells some sort of angry yawp – often with profanity. Angry gestures at the passengers inside ensue, as though they shared some blame in him missing out. Then comes the outburst towards the ever-“inconsiderate” driver/conductor – all to no avail. Finally we see the Just-Kidding Just-Misseder. This unfortunate friend also runs full speed towards closing doors only to find them closed up tight upon arrival. However rather than laughing it off or getting angry, he just pretends he wasn’t in fact trying to board. It is the public transport version of patting your pockets as though you’ve forgotten something when you realize you’re walking in the wrong direction. All three types are left with the agonizing 2 minute wait for the next train or bus with only their question of What did I do wrong? to keep them company.
6. The Tourist Family
What did they just say? I think we’re on the wrong train! No, I told you this is the right one. We want the red line, right? No, I said we didn’t want the red line. Wait, what did that announcement just say? Is this the last stop? What? We have to get off? Wait, I’m confused….
This poor family just wants to see the Opera House. Or Big Ben. Or the Colosseum. But somewhere their public transport compass has gotten skewed. They battling jet lag, language barriers, culture shock and at any moment you just know they are going to completely lose their minds. This family often comes with exaggerated hand gestures, overly slowed speech, and if American a general volume increase of roughly 30 decibels.
7. The Sleeper
This dude has either spent the night out partying, pulled an all-nighter study binge or is coming off an Energy Drink high. Whatever the cause, he’s sacked out. Everyone else in the train is placing bets on when he will wake up, and if it will be the right stop. You actually get bonus-points if you get to see them wake-up…most times your own stop comes up before you get to see the conclusion to his story.
8. The Kids Fighting Over the Button
Never mind that these kids actually live here and take public transport every.single.day., multiple times a day. They are still going to fight over who gets to push the Stop button. Every. Single. Time. You also can find these creatures in the elevator. The Prideful Regular takes great joy in swooping in to push the button just as the child who has won said fight reaches his grubby little finger out to do it.
9. The Jungle Gym-ers (AKA The Parents Who Are Too Tired to Mind Their Kids)
You’ve seen them. These are the kids doing amateur Parkour in the train car, swinging from handle to handle like monkey bar rings, and spinning around the handle pole like it was a playground apparatus. The parents can often be seen slumped in a corner seat, hair matted, dirt smudged on their faces just trying to maintain composure until they reach their destination. Very often these families start out as number 6 but but the end of the week transform into this.
10. The Loud Music Guy
It doesn’t matter if he’s listening to Marilyn Manson, Pearl Jam, ABBA or Mozart this guy loves his music – and wants you to love it, too. Even though he’s wearing headphones, you can hear this dude’s tunes from the other end of the train car/bus. Often times he is completely stoic, not even a head bob or foot tap. However every now and then, the rhythm gets him and he forgets that others can hear him and he serenades the whole car. Its a treat for the whole family, I tell ya.
So there you have it, the 10 People You Meet Everyday on Public Transport. Have you met these guys? Who else do you see everyday on the bus, subway or street tram? Oh, and by the way, if you’re any sort of regular public transport user, you – like me – have been every single one of these people.